I'll (actually) tell you if your pitch deck sucks

We get on a zoom call and we run through your deck slide by slide. I will give you unfiltered feedback on it and whether you will have a shot with investors.

It's quite likely you have done the basics wrong, or there is an issue with your business model. We can get into that if you want.

There is very little we can't talk about. If I don't know I will tell you and lie to save face. It's also a great way to figure out if you want more hands on help.

You leave the call with a clear action plan to improve your deck.

Any startup that genuinely wants to improve. Ideally:

• You have a deck done already
• You are raising money from angels, or VCs
• Want no BS, direct, actionable help
• You've raised before, but know you need someone smart to go over as 'you know too much'

Want to be better and know feedback is not personal, but a learning opportunity to help close this fucking round... finally

I offer these calls because I genuinely want to help and level the playing field for those that don't have access to insiders. I am willing to work with anyone that genuinely wants to improve. Life is short so I will refund snowflakes and assholes and send you on your (not-so-merry) way.

On the knowledge level, there is no one that won't benefit from a call. In fact, I find that more experienced people can benefit the most because: 1/ they have the foundation to engage at a higher level, and 2/ I can get into details that you they will never be able to Google.

The only people I don't recommend a call for are those that are 'poor' and haven't spent much time reading. I can provide you with a reading list to level up for free first so when we talk you get real value add. I've been a poor founder so I don't want to take your money.

Short version, they're a total waste of time, so just choose who to trust.

My first job was in M&A where 'snitches get stitches', so I was brought up professionally keeping things secret.

NDAs are BS as no one ever gets sued on them (Never ask an investor for one).

I've written a long blog on this topic. Read: Non disclosure agreements (NDA) for startup fundraising don’t matter

Trust me, nothing you have to say is ever actually confidential.

I've advised literally thousands of founders and I wouldn't have a business if I didn't know how to keep my mouth shut.

You can send me a Docsign and I'll sign if you need.

If someone tells you yes to this question, then run away as they just want your money.

I can help you give you a better shot.

I don't accept clients that I can't help. 

I will give you feedback and tell you to come back in future.

I work with startup founders, investors, financial advisers, lawyers and others in the startup and investing world.

Most of my clients are in their 30-50s and have actually raised before. Of course, I do help less experienced people in their 20s too

Clients are based everywhere from the US to New Zealand, though most are in the US and Canada.

I not only can assist from idea stage to series-D, but I teach VCs to raise to invest in startups.

The foundation of a deck is the same for everyone assuming you are dealing with new investors. Established entities may have existing relationships with investors, so if you are doing an 'inside round' one might do things differently. I have to understand your individual situation to advise.

Knowing how to curate a deck for all your variables requires having a lot of experience and knowledge. When you hire me you aren't getting cookie cutter feedback from a Medium blog. What I recommend is a facet of learnings for your situation.

"I have worked with thousands of founders of startups across stages, sectors, and geographies.

I've done so many calls that I have the confidence to say when I don't know the answer to something rather than BS'ing you to save face (It rarely happens but it's normally something super technical and niche). I am also confident to offer a 'money back guarantee' that I'll refund you if I don't help. "

"Yes. I mainly help emerging managers and don't have the ego to pretend I know more than a fund IV VC.

VC is a tiny industry, so there are way less funds than startups. I've advised a dozen funds over the years. The thing though is if you think enough you figure out the fundamentals which apply to every fund. Startup is a lot more nuanced since they do the hard work and you just throw cash at them. VCs need to do high-level thinking (investment thesis) and that applies to all funds."

In my experience, every deck can be improved. I've seen a couple of pretty good decks in my time, but 99.9% of decks are fundamentally flawed.

No matter how good your deck is, it can be improved. 

No one was born knowing how to raise money. Fundraising is a pointless skill unless you need money. You rarely raise which is why working with someone that does this regularly makes sense.

Here are the main reasons why decks are rubbish:

• You know too much: You want to share every detail and you get paralysed
• You assume too much prior knowledge: People don't understand the basics
• You don't take it seriously: Decks take time to write. Often founders just don't put in the work
• You have a speciality background: It's obvious when an engineer writes a deck. All tech and zero sales
• You don't know your business: You simply haven't thought about your business model, your GTM, why the timing is right etc. Investors expect you to have all the answers

How you communicate isn't structured: No one want to read a wall of bullet points and stupid clip art. You need to be structured and that's a skill

I do not care who you are, nor how many times you have raised, everyone needs help with their pitch deck. Heck, I need help with this website about pitch decks!

The reality is that pitch decks are all about communication and we all suffer from biases. Fundraising is a highly specialised skill which few will do more than once if they are unfortunate or lucky to need to (depending how one thinks about it!).

I am only an 'expert' on fundraising because I spend more time on it that you have. But knowing technical aspects of fundraising is only part of it:

• Fresh eyes can ask 'obvious questions'
• I understand the reality of being a founder and what investors look for
• I study how to do pitch decks in detail

In my experience, totally not! There are very few people who know how to actually write a deck and that includes investors.

The only reason I know more than you do is I blew a lot of time learning for a number of years. It is something you can get better at, but then that's not your job!

It very well might be the case that you do a feedback call and learn that your deck is beyond help and needs to be redone from the ground up. In that case, you have two options:

1/ You can apply the feedback yourself and improve

2/ You can book a custom deck with me and I'll run you through my structured process and get your deck done (finally)

You can get as much out of the call as you like as it is your call and time.

If you have a list of questions you want to run through, we can do that. On the other hand you can just show me your deck and I'll take control of the wheel and prioritise what I believe will be the most value add for you.

This is an educational call and a 'safe place' so you can genuinely ask any question that you have.

You only need to have your deck to hand to do a call.

The best situation is to pull together a list of big questions you have to make sure I cover what you has been stressing you. What you say are issues are normally just the start. I'll likely find bigger ones fast you aren't aware of.

Don’t worry about having to do this though. I know what I’m doing and I will tell you what you need to know depending on your situation.

No. If you book an hour of my time, you get an hour.

I like to look at your deck for the first time on a call so you (over screen share) can see how an investor will flick through your deck and give you my live feedback.

Once you are aware that your pitch deck is bad and you are blowing time trying to fix it, now is absolutely the best time to book a call with me.

In an hour I can diagnose the problems and give you concrete steps to dramatically improve your deck.

I charge per hour. If you want more time, you just book another session. This makes things super flexible to your specific circumstances

If you need help to get your deck redone from scratch then we can do that too.

"I know what it is like to be a poor founder and I care about helping, so this isn't a sales pitch.

If your startup is dependent on raising money, then sht is real! You have to take your fundraise seriously and it is completely reasonable that you don't know how to raise and do a pitch deck (why the heck should you!?).

If your deck sucks (AKA unfundable) then allocating financial resources to get professional help will be the absolute smartest thing you can do. Whilst I may appear expensive, I'm unbelievable value because I genuinely know what to do and can explain how to dramatically improve.

Time is not your friend as a founder so you can shortcut wasting months spinning your wheels, and have a plan to get results immediately.

If you are not fundable in the first place, I can't help you (no one can). If you are fundable but suck at making material, then I can help a lot."

The information online is often recycled garbage from clout chasers who think writing about fundraising makes them cool.

Yes, there is some good advice, but it's very limited and fragmented on more niche blogs. Trust me, I've invented all my own ways of doing pitch decks out of necessity.

I talk very quickly and what I teach isn't on the internet. Many founders have said "can we stop now, my mind has already melted!" That's the amount of knowledge I can impart rapidly.

I can teach you a lot on everything related to pitch decks. It's actually beneficial to book a call then to go away and 'noodle' on my learnings, or just apply it! Then come back and learn more once you have foundations to build knowledge on.

One to two hour calls are the ideal amounts of time to do calls with me because they are intense.

You not only can, but I encourage you to book a call and then only book additional calls when you need to. I actually care that you have a limited budget.

Absolutely. You can bring anyone on your team, advisors, whomever.

I had one client who brought their lead investor on all the calls we did.

The only thing I would say is that you should only bring people on calls with me that can have access to all knowledge about your company. I need you to answer all my questions fully and without worrying a 'junior' will hear about skeletons in your closet. I don't give generic advice (unless needed) so I can only give you good advice if I understand all the dirty details.

I do calls Monday to Friday from midday to midnight GMT. I would prefer not to do calls on Friday night so I can have fun!

There is a constraint that you must book 24 hours in advance because I don't want to miss your call in 15 minutes time because I didn't know it was in my calendar.

If you are super stressed and need help ASAP, then message me online and if I am free I will jump on a call with you if I am available.

Finally, I can do calls on the weekend if things are really urgent (and I like you). You need to message me to arrange this.

You can reschedule the call up to 24 hours in advance. I’m not dealing with people who cancel 10 minutes before the call.

It costs me money when you book a call. If you plan on cancelling, simply don’t book a call with me! I’m not interested in spending time refunding you etc.

I’m currently based in Lisbon, Portugal (Same as London time).

99% of my clients are in America and Canada though so I organise my availability for North America.

I am aware that this is a bit crappy for people in Australia, but break out a schooner and strap in because I'm hilarious so it's worth staying up for.

Yes. I automatically record every call on Zoom (Unless you ask me not to). You also get a transcript.

I will send you the call recording after the meeting through wetransfer.

I will never share this recording with anyone else and I delete your call after

Yes, I wouldn't have a business if founders didn't trust me.

The honest answer is that I just don't think about you after a call, so it doesn't cross my mind to share something you say to me.

I take founders trusting me seriously.